Time for the toddler Olympics | Bitrex - Keeping children safe
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Time for the toddler Olympics

As the super-fit grown-ups hunker down on their starting blocks in Rio, we know who the real sporting superstars are – the toddlers of this nation - the fastest, slipperiest, wriggliest, athletes this side of the finishing line. We wondered what events might be suitable showcases for these mini-competitors?

1. The 5-metre cross kitchen crawl

This event is open to all ages top competitors usually start early in their training regime. Many stars can manage 100 yards in under 2 seconds as soon as they master the basic front crawl technique. Strangely enough, a trailing nappy adds to performance in this event.

2. The car seat gymnastics

This is a sport where flexibility and core strength come into their own. The very best in the world can arch their back for an extended period of time – unconfirmed timings point to close to an hour. Victory comes when parents give up and decide not to visit gran after all.

3. The shot-putt

It is remarkable how far a 12-month-old child can throw a full pot of baby powder. Experts in this sport favour the open bottle of baby-oil, the results are always spectacular with added style-points for this who can get oil on the bathroom ceiling.

We also know that toddlers are extra skilful in activities involving dexterity. There are few cupboards they can’t negotiate or tops that they can’t wrestle free. It’s why safe storage and child resistant closures are so vital. But it’s also why it’s best to look out for products containing Bitrex. Because it’s the bitterest substance in the world it makes it almost impossible for a child to swallow the substance it’s added to. So it’s swiftly spat out – spitting the 1.5 meters, yet another excellent, and very safe, toddler sport.